Questions and The List

Have you ever been so sure about something that you knew for a fact that it was the right thing to do? And then something happened to make that thing you were so sure about harder. Then another something happened that again made things more difficult and made you a bit unsure. Then yet another something happened and you really question what on earth you are doing and if it was the right thing. How are you supposed to look at this? From a religious standpoint, I know that when something is right and God has confirmed it, that thing is often bombarded with trials and difficulties because Satan doesn't want it to happen. But from the same standpoint, what if the thing that you thought was so right really isn't and all of the trials that are in the way are really there as a wake-up call for you to help you realize what you are doing isn't the right thing. Then what? When something feels so right and so wrong at the same time, what are you supposed to do? These are the questions that haunt me.

On another note, I have a list. This list is of things that I am very thankful for recently.

The List:
1. Prayer - self explanatory.
2. My family and how they are always there for me - They are always there supporting me and helping me with whatever they can even though I am not living with them anymore.
3. Friends who ask "How are you?" and actually want an honest answer - I have some great friends who really care about me and will listen and talk to me.
4. Friends who trust me enough to tell me what is going on in their lives. - It feels good to be trusted and to know that you can be there for people just like they have been for you.
5. My mom - Moms really are just great! My mom will let me call and cry to her on the phone and just talk to me even though she knows I am being ridiculous.
6. Hello - Don't you love it when you are sitting in class and someone comes up and sits next to you and says "hello" or turns around in their desk just to say "hey." I love that!
7. Peer support - Its good to know that you are not the only person struggling with the latest crazy Aural Skills or Anatomy assignment.
8. Ice cream - BEST COMFORT FOOD EVER!
9. Vampire Diaries with Kristy - Mostly I'm obsessed/grateful for this one because it's time spent with my roommate where we both giggle about all the cute guys on the show and laugh at the relations to Twilight and just spend time together.
10. Eating lunch/dinner with MacKenzie - I love this because MacKenzie is so funny and we laugh like crazy every time we go eat! Best way to spend a meal - the food really doesn't matter when you are in good company.
11. Lauren's recent obsession with Taylor Swift - It is so fun to walk into my room at any point during the day and see Lauren sketching and singing to T Swift.
12. Phil Collins - Yep I'm obsessed! Listening to him right now!
13. Train - I love Train right now too.
14. 70's music - Thank you choir! I cannot wait for this concert!
15. Skype - Skype is great! I got to see my old roomie Shayla and my cousins Kennedy and Jay this week because of Skype. It's great!
16. My rainboots - Pink cheetah print for $7. Can't get much better than that!
17. Letters - I love getting mail! One of the best parts about having so many friends/family on missions is all the letters! So great!! That and of course the fact that they are serving the Lord.
18. Being able to talk to my brother - My brother left for Korea on Wednesday and so I got to talk to him for a few minutes while he was in the airport. He said a prayer in Korean and it was SO cool!
19. My blanket that my mom made for me and my teddy bear from my grandma - I just love cuddling up with them!
20. Choir & Music Therapy Ensemble - I have such great friends in both of these classes and I can just let go and be a bit crazy and have fun in both. Great friends + Fun = My favorite classes.
21. My summer job and that now I won't be going by myself - I am so excited to go to New York and to be a counselor (and maybe a music teacher) at Camp Huntington! And Sydnie got a job there too so now I don't have to go alone! I am so excited!!
22. An enthusiastic pianist - I am the Relief Society chorister at church and we got a new pianist and she gets really into the songs and plays them with a lot of enthusiasm and it's great because when she plays that way the Relief Society sings that way too and it's a lot more enjoyable!
23. My ipod - sometimes I tune out the world. Sad but true! I like rocking out to my own music sometimes!
24. Cooking - I've done some experimental cooking within the last week or so and it was very fun! The meal plan is great but I do enjoy cooking every once in a while.
25. My car - I like having the ability to leave if I need to. Especially since I'm now the only roommate with a car.
26. Awkward people - I love awkward people! They are just so fun to be around and to talk to! I'll admit I'm an awkward person sometimes.... maybe that's why I love them so much!
27. Thursdays - I have a class at 9 and a class at 10:30 and then I'm done by 11:10. It's nice to have a day without too many classes
28. Orange - Orange stuff makes me smile. I see a person in a bright orange coat or an orange backpack and it makes me happy.
29. The shower - Showers are great! I don't have anything else to say about it.
30. Best friends - The ones who you can go a long time without seeing and then when you do see each other again it's like there was no time in between. The ones who somehow always know when to call or send a text saying something sweet. The ones that you've been through a lot with and who will be there for you even if they are angry with you. I'm related to some of these friends of mine and I'm not related to some of them. Thank you to those people! You are great!

I think it's healthy to write lists of things you're grateful for every once in a while. For myself, I know that I sometimes need to step back and look at all blessings that I've been given and to say thank you -- both to those who are the blessings, and to Heavenly Father for giving them to me. In my institute class we talked about tender mercies from the Lord. Little blessings. Things that we take for granted sometimes. I challenge anyone who actually reads this blog to write a list for yourself. Let those people who are blessings in your life know it, and remind yourself about all you've been given. It's a good thing and it makes you feel great! (I speak from experience)